Heaven Can Wait
by Eaglesgirl
Summary: Courtney found out three weeks ago that she was sick. She leaves Port Charles to keep her family from having to bear the burden of her illness. Jason and Sonny are worried about her and look for her but no trail leads them to her. Will Heaven wait so Jaso
1. prolouge

Hey people, I wrote this as a story for Journey-Online last year. Due to the storylines for Jase and Court right now, the site's owners aren't updating as much. No updating means no new visitors to the site, and no new reviewers for me. Thus, I am putting the story on this site. I hope ya'll like it. This is an episode re-write.

Disclaimer... Don't own nothin'.  
Summary: Courtney found out three weeks ago that she was sick. She leaves Port Charles to keep her family from having to bear the burden of her illness. Jason and Sonny are worried about her and look for her but no trail leads them to her. Will Heaven wait so Jason can spend his life with the woman he was meant to be with, or will Heaven be unforgiving and take her away before Jason can say goodbye?

Prologue

His mind drifted back to that night again as he drifted off to sleep. June 1, 2004. That had been a terrible night. It was stressful and confusing, just like the past three weeks had been.

He had been standing on the docks looking at the water that night. His thoughts floated back to happier times. He slipped his wedding ring out of his pocket. In the eye of his memory, he could see her smile as she slowly, carefully, put it on his finger.

His ringing cell phone broke his trance.

"Ja…Jason?" a voice stuttered at the other end of the line.

It was Courtney. Jason could tell that something was wrong with her. "Courtney, is that you?… Is everything OK? What's wrong?"

"Jason, can you… can you meet me at the loft in twenty minutes?… Please?" She was on the verge of tears as she tried to ignore the concerned tone of his voice.

"Yeah… yeah. Twenty minutes, ok. Are you alright?" Jason repeated her request out loud. He was worried. It sounded like she had been crying before she called.

"I'm… It's… Bye," she ended the call abruptly.

It had been a long, upsetting, and shocking day for Courtney Morgan. Her dad was beaten up, she found out that Sam was carrying Jason's baby, and that he was marrying Sam. None of that compared to what had just happened.

She had been having the worst headaches. Everything would start to spin, and sometimes she would black out. Courtney decided to get checked out at the hospital just in case something really was wrong.

She decided to go to Mercy Hospital early in the morning, early enough so that no one would call her and miss her. She didn't feel like having a search party of Sonny and Jason's men looking for her. She knew a lot of people at GH so she thought better of going there. If something were wrong it would get around quick.

Her appointment was at seven AM. Various doctors did multiple tests, and she was out by nine. They told her they would call her when the results came in.

At 9:50 PM, her cell phone rang. She had just left General Hospital after visiting with her father.

"Hello," Courtney answered her phone as she exited her car and walked to the front door of her building.

"Courtney Morgan?" asked the caller.

"Yes," Courtney responded. She recognized the voice of one of the doctors that she had seen that morning at Mercy Hospital.

"I'm calling about the tests you had today at the hospital," the doctor said in a stern voice.

Five minutes later she threw her clothes in a bag as tears streaked down her cheeks. After packing some things including pictures of Sonny, Carly, Michael, Morgan, Mike, Rosie, and Jason, she washed her face and called Jason. He'd be there in twenty minutes.

She sat down on the couch with a pen and paper and Rosie lying obediently at her feet.

Dear Jason…

It was 1:37 AM when Jason woke up breathing hard in New York.

It was 12:37 AM when Courtney woke up crying in Wisconsin.


	2. chapter 1

And here is Chapter 1... it does get better, I swear.

Chapter 1

Jason sat up and tried to calm his racing heart and heavy breaths. It was almost as if he'd been running because his skin shined with perspiration. He took a few deep, slow, relaxing breaths, before he looked at the clock 1:37. He sighed and threw himself back into the pillows. He couldn't get comfortable on the bed, so he got up and went down stairs.

Jason hadn't slept much since Courtney left. She had left him a short letter that wasn't very descriptive. It was very vague as to why she left and what was wrong. He read it all the time, especially when he was restless, like tonight. He took the letter out of the top drawer of the desk, hoping that when he read it, it would give him a clue that he hadn't caught onto before.

_Dear Jason,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave, but I didn't have many other choices. I'm sick, Jason. I'm really sick. I just want to tell you that I'm not coming back. Please, take care of Michael, Morgan, Sonny, and Carly for me. Mike too. I can't take Rosie with me and she's missed you a lot. Please, take good care of her for me._

_Jason, I just want you to know that I want you to be happy. You are the only one for me. You'll be in my heart forever._

_With Love until the day I die,_

_Courtney_

His eyes teared up as he read that last paragraph. She must have been crying while she wrote it because there were watermarks on the paper from her tears.

Sam watched Jason from the stairs. She could see a tear on his cheek as it caught the moonlight. She had never seen him cry, but she wasn't surprised. He had been on the edge for weeks.

He and Sonny had been threw ever possibility that could have forced Courtney to leave. They thought that the letter had been forged and Courtney was in danger. She could have been blackmailed, but maybe the letter was really. Maybe Courtney was sick and couldn't share the burden with her family.

She had read Courtney's letter. Sam could tell that Jason was heart-broken. He was scared to for the Love of his life.

Sam had been eavesdropping on Sonny and Jason. If Courtney really had left on her own freewill, she had done a good job of making sure there was no paper trail to follow. Courtney's bank account had been emptied for cash the night she left. She hadn't used her cell phone or any of her credit cards yet. No one knew where she was.

Sam retreated to her bedroom. Jason need some time to be alone with his thoughts and memories.

Courtney woke up crying. "I love you, Jason!" she whispered. Those were the four words she hadn't been able to write in that letter. Sure, she pointed to that assumption, strongly, but she hadn't been able to put the actual words down. She didn't want Jason to feel responsible for her. She didn't want him to give up the family that he would soon have to have to help her.

The clock read 12:37. Courtney drowsily walked over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. She took a small wooden jewelry box out and walked to the living room with it. She sat on one of the four big blue couches.

'This is my home now,' she thought. 'Unfortunately, this place is also the home of sick children. Wards of the state of Wisconsin.'

The kids had all kinds of diseases; cancers, tumors, and AIDS were just a few of them. There were twenty kids and three 'counselors' including Courtney, herself. She had to watch over only four children since they were young and full of energy. Matt, who was four, Angela and Marie were identical twin girls, who were three-and-a-half, and Clair, who was two, were all in her care.

Clair and the twins had the same disease as Courtney. Matt had lung cancer and was being treated with chemotherapy. She brought them all to their appointments at the hospital. They each had a treatment three times a week. Their treatments were three weeks on and one week off.

Courtney settled herself on the couch and looked at the wooden box in her hands. A small red and pink heart was painted on the lid. It reminded her of the one she had when she was young.

The box had belonged to a girl named Janine. She had died on June 17th, last Thursday, of lung cancer. The five-year-old had left her jewelry box to Courtney for her 'pretty blue ring.'

Courtney opened the box and it started to play 'It's a Small World.' She smiled as she looked at the toy necklaces, bracelets, and rings that once belonged to Janine. She didn't have the heart to take them out. Courtney gently pulled out her two rings. She slid them on her finger, the finger that they had once graced everyday.

Courtney suddenly started to sob. She mourned Janine's death. She wept for Matt, Angela, Marie, and Clair. Tears flooded her eyes for the baby she miscarried. She grieved for her broken family back in Port Charles. She started weeping uncontrollably for Jason and their Love. The only thing she didn't cry about was her illness, she had cried enough about that.


	3. chapter 2

This chapter is much longer. I hope you all like this chapter and review.

Chapter 2

Courtney had fallen asleep on the couch. She lay on her right side in a curled up position. As she started to come out of her sleep, she heard the pitter-patter of small feet. She ignored the whispered, "there she is!" She went on sleeping until two small bodies sat up on her left side.

"Get-up-Miss-M-get-up!" The two girls said simultaneously. They bounced up and down with every syllable. It hurt but only a little.

"Hey, you two! Don't do that, it really hurts!" Courtney whined as she up on a fake sad face. She actually loved seeing those girls happy. She though of her child at the same age and how he or she would have looked, if only…

If. God how she hated that word. If she hadn't walked out on Jason… If she hadn't been kidnapped… If she hadn't kissed Jason that first time in the rain. If. That word signified all the choices that she didn't make. Those choices that she would now be happy with had she made them.

Would she be happy with them? She wouldn't have met Jason. He helped her out on her first day working at Kelly's. He protected her from the stalker and comforted her when she found out that it was AJ. He chose HER over Sonny once. Jason was the only person who ever made her feel like she was really safe and loved. She never wanted to forget that. 'If' didn't help her. She couldn't change the past and she knew it.

"Ms. M?" Marie's voice snapped Courtney back to the present. Marie's sister had run off. Courtney looked down at Marie whose frail body was now kneeling beside the couch. She was staring at Janine's jewelry box, which sat between her and the couch.

The little girl raised her eyes and they locked with Courtney's. Marie saw that they were filled with tears. "Oh, poor Ms. M cried last night, didn't she?" the girl said as she positioned herself on Courtney's lap. Courtney sat there, wiping her tears away. She was furious with herself for not being able to control her emotions.

How about we go get some breakfast," Courtney smiled. She didn't want Marie to be upset.

"Ok," the girl's eyes brightened. "Can we have Frosted Flakes?" Marie questioned.

"Sure," Courtney responded. "Go upstairs and I'll be there in five minutes," she instructed.

"Ok," Marie said as she shot up the stairs.

Courtney smiled. She picked up the box and walked over to the door of her room.

Courtney's room had periwinkle blue carpet. The walls were white. There were two paintings in the room. Both were of the rolling ocean at sunset. One of them had a white lighthouse in it. Those pictures always reminded her of Jason. He helped her so much with getting used to the ocean again after the whole miscarriage…

Directly across from the door sat her single bed with a blue comforter. Next to the bed was a nightstand. It had a blue lamp on top of it. To the right of the door was a chest of drawers. To the left of the door was a bookshelf with a few books and her pictures. A wooden rocking chair sat in the corner next to the bookshelf. She often sat in the chair with one of the kids if they woke up from a bad dream. They always asked about the people in the photographs. She would tell them a story about the person they picked to get them back to sleep.

Matt, Angela, and Marie all had their favorite people to hear stories about. Matt loved to hear about Sonny, Michael, and Mike. Angela liked Carly, Morgan, and Rosie. Marie would only listen to stories about Jason. If Courtney tried to tell her about anyone else, she would throw a fit. Marie constantly asked Courtney when Jason would visit, so she could meet him. "I'm not sure," was always the answer that Courtney gave.

On the wall adjacent to the rocking chair, there was another door that led to the kids' room.

Courtney put the jewelry box back into the nightstand. She dressed quickly and walked into the adjoining bedroom.

The room had a double bed for the twins, a single for Matt, and a toddler bed for Clair. The room had dark green carpet. The beds all had white comforters and sheets.

Clair still lay asleep in the bed. Courtney smiled to herself as she picked up the sleeping girl. Clair slowly awoke and Courtney dressed her. They went back out to the living room and up the stairs. The little kids and Courtney lived in the basement. On the ground floor lived Madison Kraus and with the seven school aged children: Jen, Ashley, Nicole, Michelle, Harrison, Robby, and Kyle.

The ground floor included a living room, three bedrooms, a bathroom, and a huge kitchen. This was where most everything took place. The office was near the front door.

The building was run by Jessica Carol. She took care of the children's bussing to and from school, donations, bills, and groceries.

Courtney stepped off the stairs and into the living room. She weaved her way threw the mismatching furniture toward the kitchen.

Marie nearly made Courtney drop Clair as she ran from the kitchen. "Ms. M., hurry up. I want my Frosted Flakes," Marie said waving an empty bowl in the air.

"Ok, calm down," Courtney said trying to pick up the Queen Anne chair that she had knocked over.

Courtney followed Marie into the kitchen. Jen and Kyle sat behind a box of Sugar Smacks. Anna Villare, who looked after the 13-18 year-olds, sat with coffee and a part of the daily newspaper. Matt sat between Kyle and Anna with a blueberry pop-tart. Angela sat next to Jen with an empty bowl. Marie plopped down next to her sister.

"Your crew is always up early, aren't they?" Anna smiled as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, and they drag me out of bed," Courtney responded sarcastically while pouring Frosted Flakes into the twins' bowls. She placed a bowl of Cheerios in front of Clair, who started tossing them around the room.

'After breakfast, we have to go to the hospital,' she thought to herself. This was their off week, but there was a fund-raiser in three days and they were helping set up. Some people at the hospital asked Madison, Courtney and their kids to help pick out decorations. They thought that the kids might have good ideas for colors they could use, food to eat, and games to play.

Courtney looked at the four youngest kids at the table, 'her' kids. If only they really were hers… hers and Jason's kids. A tear came to her eye, but she blinked it back.

Jason… She missed him so much. She wondered what he was thinking. What was he doing right now? 'He's probably still sleeping,' she thought looking at the clock. It was 7:47 AM. In Port Charles it would still be 6:47.

Her mind drifted to the family that lived across the hall from the love of her life. 'Michael is probably up and dragging around Leticia or a grumpy Carly. Carly hates to be waken up. I wonder if Sonny is already up and making breakfast.' She closed her eyes and tried to remember the smell of Sonny's cooking. She had been over there many times but she couldn't remember the scent.

"Come on you four," she said standing up, "we have to get moving so we can be at the hospital on time. We have to be there by nine."

Courtney took one last sip of the coffee she had poured herself. She had thought a lot about Jason lately. Maybe getting ready for this fundraiser would get him off her mind for a little bit. 'Yeah right,' she thought.

And there it is. I hope you all like it. Review please!

Allie


	4. Chapter 3

Hey everyone. Sorry for not updating. It was the end of the school year and our teachers had us cramming to get everything in. Then, I had finals. I just got back from an eight day trip to Cancun, Mexico. I am burnt, and I haven't had any grape juice in over a week. I'll update if you all review. Thanks you to everyone who did review.

Reminder- I wrote this about a year ago.

By the way: Nicholas never lost his memory in the car accident. Sonny and Carly are back together. Sam left town before this chapter, and Carly knows that Sam's baby is Sonny's.

* * *

Chapter 3

Jason woke up with a stiff neck. The folded letter was still in his lap. Sunlight flooded into the room. Jason went to the door that led out to the balcony. He heard birds chirping and people laughing as he opened the doors.

'How dare people be happy, when I'm so miserable!' he thought. 'How dare the sun shine when SHE isn't her to see it with ME!

Jealousy, anger, loneliness, rage, despair and a sense of loss took over him. He was on the verge of breaking down. He couldn't take any of it anymore. He hated when people smiled. He hated it even more when people pitied him or told him he was better off without Courtney. What did they know? He hated that people could be happy when he was so damn miserable!

He was mad, but he didn't blame himself, Courtney, or anyone else, except God.

"Why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me that much? Am I that horrible of a person that you want to torture me before you let me die?" Jason yelled.

He was so angry that he started overturning all the furniture. Chairs, tables, beds, dressers, night stands, and his desk were all victims of his fury. He didn't feel any better. He broke glasses, plates, bowls, and mirrors. Still not better. After destroying most everything with a few exceptions, including his pool table and her letter, Jason finally sank to the floor in the middle of his living room.

* * *

Sonny and Carly had both been awaken by the sound of their best friend trashing his home. They sat in silence on their couch until they knew it was 'safe' to go over.

Carly knew that last Sunday had been hard for Jason. It was Father's Day. He and Courtney should have had a three-month-old baby now. If it hadn't been for Alcazar, they would all be happy now.

About five minutes after the bangs and crashes next door had ceased, Sonny spoke up. "It's been so hard for him lately. I mean the baby, then the separation and Brian, the divorce, and then Courtney just disappears into thin air! It's amazing that Jason lasted this long before he lost it," Sonny said solemnly.

"Should I go see him, or do you want to?" Carly asked.

"Maybe you should. You know, I didn't approve of their relationship at first and I don't think that he'll really want to talk to me. Plus, I can't deal with my own breakdowns, how could I help him with his?" Sonny said to Carly and she went to go check on Jason.

* * *

Carly walked into Jason's penthouse to find him sitting on the floor, exhausted. He stared into space with a blank expression. She walked from room to room to find glass shattered on floors, furniture overturned, and everything but the toilets and sinks strewn around the rooms.

Carly went back out to the living room and sat down next to her friend. She was careful not to sit on pieces of the broken mirror that had been hurled across the room. "Jason?" she said trying to get his attention.

"I just can't do this anymore, Carly, I just can't," Jason stated never looking at the woman next to him. His voice was tear filled and near a whisper.

"I know, Jason, I know," Carly whispered. She did know, because she missed Courtney too. Not as much as Jason must, but she did miss her. She wasn't going to say 'It's ok,' because it wasn't. It wasn't ok for her, for Sonny or Mike, for Michael or Morgan, and especially not for Jason. They all felt the pain.

"How about we go and get some breakfast at Kelly's then we can go and get you some new cue sticks," Carly suggested as she pointed to the broken pieces of wood on the floor. "While we're out, I can have someone clean this place up, ok?" Carly offered.

Jason just nodded and the pair headed out the door.

* * *

Carly walked into her penthouse three hours later. Jason hadn't eaten very mush at Kelly's and had refused to shop for new things for his penthouse. Carly had dropped Jason off at the loft and left one of the guards with him. Carly was afraid that he might hurt himself. Sonny came down the stairs as Carly walked in the door.

"How's Jason?" He asked.

"I don't think that he's doing to well with all this," Carly answered. "He didn't eat much at Kelly's. He had me drop him off at the loft and I left Marco with him," she added.

"I think he needs to get away for a while," Sonny said. His best friend had been having such a hard time. Sonny thought a change in scenery might do Jason some good.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go see how the clean up next door is going," Carly responded.

* * *

Jason walked into their loft; no it belonged solely to Courtney now. He hadn't been there since the night Courtney left. He walked from room to room letting the memories rush over him.

As he thought about their relationship, he decided that even if he could he wouldn't change a second of it. All their moments made them what they were, even the bad parts. The only thing he would change is the last time they had dinner as a married couple. He wanted to change that night. He shouldn't have followed her. If he hadn't, they would be together right now.

Jason blamed Lorenzo Alcazar for all of their problems. That bastard had forced Courtney to lose their baby. He kidnapped her. He wrecked Sonny and Carly's marriage. He nearly killed Sonny Carly and Morgan on his and Courtney's wedding! Yet Courtney wouldn't let Jason kill Alcazar after all he had done. Jason just couldn't understand it.

"A woman's mind is so complex!" Jason muttered to himself. He decided that he wanted to stay at the loft for a while. It held the best of best of memories. It was the first place that ever felt like home to him.

Jason felt calm there. He turned on the radio as a song started to play.

_I need some sleep_

_I can't go on like this_

_I tried countin' sheep_

_But there's one I always miss_

_Everyone says I'm gettin' down too low_

_Everyone says, "Ya just gotta let it go"_

_Ya just gotta let it go_

Just gotta let it go

That's what was happening to Jason. His grief was taking over his life, and if he couldn't be with Courtney that's what he wanted. Everyone was pushing him to move on, but he didn't want to move on.

_I need some sleep_

_Time to put the old horse down_

_I'm in too deep_

_And the wheels keep spinnin' round_

_Everyone says I'm gettin' down too low_

_Everyone says, "Ya just gotta let it go"_

_Ya just gotta let it go_

_Just gotta let it go_

Jason's day was a routine now. 'Get up. See Sonny. Follow her. Confront him. Go to bed.' Then he did it all again the next day. There was no light. Nothing to look forward to. Courtney had been his light, his reason for being.

_Just gotta let it go_

_Just gotta let it go_

_Just gotta let it go_

Song credits 'I Need Some Sleep' Eels

* * *

"Are you sure you can't come?" Emily asked into the phone. It was Nicholas. He was supposed to go to a fundraiser out of state with her this weekend. "Alright, I'll call you when my plane lands in Madison. Love you too. Bye," She said hanging up.

Emily really didn't want to go alone. She resolved to call her brother Jason and ask him to come with her. He has been hurting since Courtney disappeared and Emily thought that some place new might help him.

Emily dialed Jason's cell phone number.

"Morgan," her brother answered. He sounded stern, not like the Jason she knew, gentle and loyal. This was the voice he used for business. When it was just the two of them, he came out of enforcer mode. He let her see what his emotions, well mostly. The only person who could really get to him was Courtney.

"Hey Jase, It's Emily," She greeted.

"Hey. What's up?" Jason's voice was no longer icy. It was always good to hear from his sister.

"I wanted to know if I can meet you somewhere. I have a question," Emily told her brother.

"Ok, anywhere particular?" He asked.

"Well where are you now?" Emily inquired.

"I'm at the loft," Jason replied in a soft voice.

Emily was silent. She knew that Jason was happy there and she felt guilty for interrupting.

"Can you meet me here in five minutes?" Jason asked. He didn't want to leave this place where he felt so safe.

"Sure," Emily said. The siblings said their good-byes and hung up.

* * *

Emily and Jason met at the loft. It wasn't too hard for Emily to convince Jason to come with her. It was around 11:30 that Jason finally left the loft to go pack. He met Emily at the airport at noon and their plane left at one.

The plane ride went well. Jason started to lighten up. The pair did mad-libs. They were very funny and they laughed so hard that the people behind them kicked their seats and told them to 'shut up.' They only laughed harder.

Jason and Emily left the airport immediately after arriving. They only stopped to grab their bags, two sodas, and a phone call home. They shuffled out the doors, towards their rental car.

"So where are we actually staying?" Jason asked as he buckled himself into the red PTCruiser.

"We are staying with the group that the fund-raiser is for," Emily said. "You'll like all the people. There's a whole mess of kids and a few adults. They will take all the help they can get."

"How many people are there?" Jason questioned.

"Twenty kids, ages two to eighteen, and three adults," Emily answered. "I feel bad for the new woman who takes care of the youngest kids, Ms. M. I'm told that as soon as she got there, she became immediately attached to this one little girl, Janine. Janine just died." Emily voice softened and Jason knew that Emily too had been attached to the girl. Em had been there the year before.

The rest of the car ride was silent.

* * *

Courtney watched for the car that held the guests that would be staying for the weekend. She waited as Marie and Angela picked out the dresses they wanted to wear.

"Miss M., can I wear this one?" Angela asked holding up a dress. The girl held a light green sundress with yellow and white flowers on it.

"Don't you think that's a little much? Everyone else is wearing jeans and a tee-shirt," Courtney said.

"Please," the girl pleaded.

"Fine, come here, Angie, so I can help you put it on," Courtney always caved so easily.

Courtney walked upstairs after all of her kids were dressed. Angie and Marie wore the same green dresses. Clair wore a jean-skirt and tee shirt and Matt wore jeans and a tee shirt like the rest of the kids. Matt, Clair, and the twins went over and sat in front of all the other kids, while Courtney went and stood next to Anna and Madison. The three adults stood off to the side and waited for their guests.

The knob on the door turned…


	5. Chapter 4

Here is another chapter. I am posting Chapter 5 today too. I don't have anything after chapter 5 yet, so you will all have to leave a lot of feedback to get me writing again.

* * *

Chapter 4

The knob on the door turned…

The door opened to reveal a thin brunette. All the kids ran up to the woman standing in the doorway. They knew her from her previous visit the year before and they were all glad that she had come back again. They immediately noticed the diamond engagement ring on her left hand and started spitting out questions.

'What does he look like?' 'What color are his eyes?' 'You brought him with you, right?'

Emily looked up at the three women standing on the side. That's when she saw a shocked Courtney.

"Oh my God! Courtney!" Emily exclaimed as she ran toward the woman. Emily and Courtney embraced as tears ran down both of their faces.

"Oh Courtney, we've all been so worried. Even the PCPD honestly tried to help us find you!" Emily laughed. Everyone in Port Charles knew that the PCPD was worthless. They couldn't do ANYTHING right. "Sonny and Jason have every person they know out trying to find you. Sonny and Carly barely ever leave the penthouse. Michael is refusing to go to school. PC is a wreck without you."

"How's Jason?" That was the one question that she really wanted answered.

"Before I answer your question, there are a few things that you should know," Emily paused before continuing. "First of all, Sam's baby isn't Jason's." A look of relief came over Courtney's face. "Sam left town early this morning, but over the past couple weeks she told us a lot of stuff about how Jason has been acting since you left."

Courtney's eyes questioned Emily, 'like what?'

"Umm… Sam has seen Jason crying when he reads the letter that you left for him," Emily said. "Oh, he gets so upset. This morning he finally broke down. Carly told me that the only things that were left untouched were his pool table, your letter, and a chain with his wedding ring on it." Tears formed in Emily's eyes. "I have never seen this side of Jason before," she finished.

"Is Jason going to be OK?" Courtney asked.

"Yes. He's just fine now," said a voice from behind Emily. Courtney couldn't believe her eyes as she looked over Emily's shoulder.

Courtney ran into Jason's arms. He let his fingers run threw her silky hair. "I thought that I lost you forever," Jason whispered into her ear. She responded by tightening her grip around Jason's neck. His kissed the top of her head as most of the younger boys let out and 'ewwww.'

"Miss M?" Marie's voice broke the room's silence.

Courtney reluctantly pulled herself from Jason's arms. She knelt down so she was at the same height as the little girl. "What's wrong?" Courtney asked, full of concern.

"Why are you crying? Shouldn't you be happy? Isn't that the Jason from your pictures?" Marie asked. Courtney's crying confused her.

"Picture?" Jason asked. He didn't think that Courtney would have brought a picture of him. He'd imagined that she was angry with him when she left.

The girl Courtney had called Marie ran threw a door leading down some stairs. She reappeared two minutes later with a picture frame and handed it to Jason.

Jason stared at the picture of them at their wedding. He smiled remembering how happy they had been. That was more than eight months ago when that picture had been taken.

Marie removed the frame from Jason's hands. She placed it face down on the floor and opened the back. Marie took out five pictures and laid them face up in front of Jason. One was of Courtney and him at the Loft. Two were of them at their wedding in France. One was of Jason standing next to their first Christmas tree. Finally there was one of the couple and Carly at the Cellar.

Marie pulled on Jason's hand silently asking him to squat down so he was closer to her height. She whispered into his ear, "Miss M didn't know I knew about this picture. She keeps it under her pillow." The girl handed him a picture of him sleeping. He could tell that Courtney had taken it at the Loft.

"Marie," Courtney scolded as she saw the picture in Jason's hand, but she made no effort to take it from him.

Marie gathered the pictures and put them back in the frame. Jason picked the little girl up as he stood.

Marie leaned in to whisper something to Jason. She got a little excited and her voice was well above a whisper. "Oh, and Miss M says she thinks you're HOT, whatever that means…" The child blurted out.

Jason and Courtney's faces both went beat red. The room's occupants all tried to hide their laughter, except for Emily. She laughed so hard that she fell on the ground where she continued laughing.

DING

The timer in the kitchen went off. "Umm… Courtney can you please show our guests to the extra bedroom?" Anna asked as she ran to the kitchen.

* * *

Courtney, Clair, Matt, and the twins led Jason and Emily to the spare room. It was right next to Courtney's room. It had white carpets and walls. The bedspreads on the two singles were a forest green color. There was a chest of drawers in one of the corners. That is what Jason always thought a bedroom should be… a place to sleep and a place for your clothes.

But somehow it felt so empty…

Jason knew why it felt empty to him. His penthouse was once a place to sleep, a desk to work at, and a pool table for something to do when he was bored. Then Courtney came into his life. She made his house a home. She made it so he would look toward the future. Whether he was looking ahead five hours or 50 years. She lightened up his world and gave it color and hope. She made the things he once thought meaningless become magical. She made him feel his emotions, even when he didn't want to. Courtney made him see beauty in things that he never gave much thought to before. The funny thing was that she didn't do that intentionally. She just did it by being there.

He knew now that he would do whatever he had to for her. He would go anywhere, do anything, and give up everything.

Jason lay in bed that night. After dinner he had chased Matt, Angie, and Marie around for thirty minutes. The entire time Courtney laughed at 'Big Bad Jason Morgan' not being able to catch the three. Then he, Courtney and Emily tucked all the kids into their beds. After they all went to bed themselves, completely exhausted.

Later that night he lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. It was 2:13 when he heard a small cry from the kid's room. Jason heard Courtney jumping out of her bed and head to the adjacent room. He decided to go sit in the living room. He mind drifted as he sat on one of the big blue couches.

He didn't hear Courtney's door open.

"Jason, what's wrong?" Courtney's voice pulled that man back to the present. Jason's face was slightly paled. The woman, acting on instinct, sat down next to Jason and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing, just a bad memory," he responded.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" She knew that it wasn't her place to ask, but she couldn't help it. He looked so upset.

"I was thinking about when Rick took you and put you in that coal mine. We were so scared that we wouldn't find you in time. I was afraid that I was going to lose you. I just remember looking at the maps of the mines Ric's father owned. Each one just had a number. Then we saw that one was named after Sonny's mother and we figured it out. I was just so relieved when I found you there, still alive," he said with tears in his eyes.

Courtney, without thinking about it, started to rub Jason's back to comfort him. "Hey, it's ok. We both made it. We're alright," she said as she stared into his eyes. She smiled. It was wonderful to be able to see his beautiful blue eyes again.

"No. We're not ok," he sighed. He put his elbows on his knees as his hands cradled his face. "We're not and it's all my fault. I messed up and I can't fix it."

Courtney laid her head on the back of Jason's shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh Jason, it wasn't your fault."

Jason just sat there feeling her arms around him. He let a few minutes pass before he slowly turned around so he could look her. "Why did you leave Port Charles?"

"I was hoping that you wouldn't ask," she replied.

"Courtney, please tell me." He saw pain in her eyes, but he needed to know.

"Jason, I… I have a… a…"

"Courtney just say it. I'm right here and I want to help, but I need to know what is going on first," Jason pleaded.

"Jason, I have a brain tumor," Courtney whispered.

Jason couldn't reply. He took Courtney in his arms and let her cry as he silently did the same. He could feel that her tears were soaking his T-shirt, but he didn't care. How could he have let her suffer threw this alone. He should have looked harder and seen that something wasn't right.

She had to be ok. He needed her.

* * *

Emily woke up at three in the morning. She looked over at her brother's bed and saw that it was empty. She went looking for him and found him sitting in the living room.

"Jason?" Emily asked. Her brother lifted his head. His eyes were red and Emily could tell that he had been crying. "Oh my God. Jase, what's wrong?"

"Courtney has a brain tumor and there's nothing I-I can do to help her!" His sister enveloped him in a hug. Emily couldn't find any words and even if she could, she wouldn't be able to trust her voice.

Jason felt Emily's embrace, but he didn't respond to it. He felt like he would lose Courtney if he let her go. He knew that it was absurd, but he couldn't help feeling it.

* * *

Courtney woke up the next morning in Jason's arms. She could see that Emily was asleep on the next couch over.

Courtney felt stiff from falling asleep sitting up. Still, she felt better than she had in weeks, and why wouldn't she? She was in Jason's arms, she knew that he wasn't the father of Sam's baby, and he still wanted to be with her, even after she told him her secret.

Jason awoke from his sleep and saw the blond looking at him, but deep in thought. "Good morning," he said gently.

Courtney smiled and snuggled back into his chest.


End file.
